It's been a while since I wrote last because I've been so busy.... new job, family stuff and the usual ups and downs with the boy.
The job is going well and I'm enjoying the completely turnaround in my lifestyle. My car is only used every now and again so my previously troll sized carbon footprint has shrunk a few sizes.
But apart from that I have really noticed an improvement in myself for having more time. When I took the job, I had thought about all the practical things that more time would allow me to do. I thought I might get round to the ironing for a start. But, the reality is that I have got the time to do the ironing, but I'm choose not to. Instead, I spend more time running and swimming and sleeping. And I feel better in myself. I'm happier and appreciate life more instead of ploughing on and just passing through life without even noticing anything - I could even get through the day without acknowledging the weather.
I also thought I would have time to cook myself a proper meal, but so far, I have had time to catch up with friends and grab a packet of crisps with my beer at the pub.
This new outlook on life has also allowed me to step back and look at the man situation with refreshed eyes. I feel more patient and understanding with his situation. And, I've been trying to see things from his point of view. Trying to remember what I've explained and what I haven't. Bear with me and I'll run through a potted version of events. Met the Boy and became friends. He was married. (You can see where this is going, can't you?!) Became more than friends. He promised the earth - would leave his wife etc, but it never happened. I was patient for years (2 and a half to be precise) and for all that time his friends and family had no idea who I was. He even moved in for 6 months as he explained to me that he needed to be out of the marital home to start the separation process. Still nothing. He still didn't tell his parents.
Now I feel like a mug and I don't believe what he tells me. He's told me that he has moved back in with his parents but I have to admit that I don't really believe that either. All I have is his word and that has never been very reliable.
Anyway about 3 months ago he started to check up on me - just happen to be running past the pub when I was coming out to see who I was with. If he didn't like who I was with (ie if the group included a man) leave vile messages on my phone telling me what he thought of me in no uncertain terms and then call to apologise the next day.
Standing back and assessing the string of events objectively, I must be a mug to put up with it. But when he's being normal, he's lovely. It's hard to be without him, but it's also hard to be with him.
DAILY SUMMARY
The job is going well and I'm enjoying the completely turnaround in my lifestyle. My car is only used every now and again so my previously troll sized carbon footprint has shrunk a few sizes.
But apart from that I have really noticed an improvement in myself for having more time. When I took the job, I had thought about all the practical things that more time would allow me to do. I thought I might get round to the ironing for a start. But, the reality is that I have got the time to do the ironing, but I'm choose not to. Instead, I spend more time running and swimming and sleeping. And I feel better in myself. I'm happier and appreciate life more instead of ploughing on and just passing through life without even noticing anything - I could even get through the day without acknowledging the weather.
I also thought I would have time to cook myself a proper meal, but so far, I have had time to catch up with friends and grab a packet of crisps with my beer at the pub.
This new outlook on life has also allowed me to step back and look at the man situation with refreshed eyes. I feel more patient and understanding with his situation. And, I've been trying to see things from his point of view. Trying to remember what I've explained and what I haven't. Bear with me and I'll run through a potted version of events. Met the Boy and became friends. He was married. (You can see where this is going, can't you?!) Became more than friends. He promised the earth - would leave his wife etc, but it never happened. I was patient for years (2 and a half to be precise) and for all that time his friends and family had no idea who I was. He even moved in for 6 months as he explained to me that he needed to be out of the marital home to start the separation process. Still nothing. He still didn't tell his parents.
Now I feel like a mug and I don't believe what he tells me. He's told me that he has moved back in with his parents but I have to admit that I don't really believe that either. All I have is his word and that has never been very reliable.
Anyway about 3 months ago he started to check up on me - just happen to be running past the pub when I was coming out to see who I was with. If he didn't like who I was with (ie if the group included a man) leave vile messages on my phone telling me what he thought of me in no uncertain terms and then call to apologise the next day.
Standing back and assessing the string of events objectively, I must be a mug to put up with it. But when he's being normal, he's lovely. It's hard to be without him, but it's also hard to be with him.
DAILY SUMMARY
- Pants: 'Flaunt it'
- Weather: Autumnal
- Guineas: Cross because I haven't got them dandelion leaves for ages
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