I'm not sure I'm settling into my new job as much as I would like to. The place is lovely, the people are great but it's the work itself. I have to deal with people who are so far up their own arses eveyday. People who thik that they are so important that to relinquish any bit of power for the greater good would be totally unreasonable. They are so full of this self importance that they want the best hotels, flights changed at the drop of a hat. Many are stand in head teachers and from what I can gather that it a role that is like running a business. But for some reason these people seem to make an absolute hash of it. There's no attitude that these peolpe are working for a business and have to keep costs down because of the ottom line figure. The want the best because they are so important. Who cares about the bottom line? Certainly not the consultants. In any other industry, they would be given a kick up the arse.

The whole industry runs on meeting after meeting (but try and get a space in their diary for another meeting and of course there is no room). And these meetings are to discuss woolly policy rarely with output.

And the paper they get through - expensive and antiquated. I just want to kick these people up the arse and tell them top get with the times!

DAILY SUMMARY

• Pants - Grumpy but georgeous
• Mood -Fiesty
• Guinea pigs - prob a bit chilly
• Weather - rainy and starting to get much colder

Wasted Day?

Two entries in one day. I haven't ran today. In fact all I have done is caught up with the housework, the food shop and the washing, watched a film (and really watched it - not just on in the backgroud while I get on with a million other things) and just enjoyed my own company. By the time the evening has come round, I was wondering if I have wasted my day but sod it, I've really enjoyed it and I'm ready for a week at work!

How is Primark so Cheap?

Yesterday my friend and I pottered around town after a slightly beery lunch and wandered into Primark. I've been in and out of Primark but never been a real fan because I can't face the inevitable jumble sale rummage needed to find the right size or that by lunchtime there has been such a frantic bun fight that half the clothes are off the islands and hangers and strewn across the floor.

However, yesterday, I was cajoled into a visit by a friend who is a Primark devote. I ignored the screaming kids and stuff on the floor and the miserable sales assistants and found a few things that took my eye. quite a few actually. By the time I was ready to head to the checkout my blue collapsible carrier thing was fairly weighty (pant and vest set, 2 bra and pant sets, 2 bras, 2 pairs of pants, 2 t-shirts, a pack of socks and a fitted sheet for a king size bed). The total £33. It struck me at the time how cheap that was and I even passed comment to my friend. Surely the only way that Primark can sell those items to the consumer so cheaply and stay in business is by getting them made cheaply in the first place. Surely a sweat shop has been involved.

Just with one Google of 'Primark Sweatshops' it became apparent that this exactly how they and Asda and tonnes of other 'it's too good to be true' type shops offer clothes at such cheap prices. Ethical issues are generally close to my heart, but somehow my eyes have been closed to this whole area. But not anymore. For just one of hundreds of articles http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=421227&in_page_id=1770


DAILY SUMMARY

• MOOD: Calm and Collected although with a hint of guilt that I haven't done any gardening
• WEATHER: Rainy and cooler
• GUINEA PIGS: Snuggled in their hutches
• PANTS: Woolworths (and I don't believe for one second that's better than Primark)

Life Through New Eyes

It's been a while since I wrote last because I've been so busy.... new job, family stuff and the usual ups and downs with the boy.

The job is going well and I'm enjoying the completely turnaround in my lifestyle. My car is only used every now and again so my previously troll sized carbon footprint has shrunk a few sizes.

But apart from that I have really noticed an improvement in myself for having more time. When I took the job, I had thought about all the practical things that more time would allow me to do. I thought I might get round to the ironing for a start. But, the reality is that I have got the time to do the ironing, but I'm choose not to. Instead, I spend more time running and swimming and sleeping. And I feel better in myself. I'm happier and appreciate life more instead of ploughing on and just passing through life without even noticing anything - I could even get through the day without acknowledging the weather.

I also thought I would have time to cook myself a proper meal, but so far, I have had time to catch up with friends and grab a packet of crisps with my beer at the pub.

This new outlook on life has also allowed me to step back and look at the man situation with refreshed eyes. I feel more patient and understanding with his situation. And, I've been trying to see things from his point of view. Trying to remember what I've explained and what I haven't. Bear with me and I'll run through a potted version of events. Met the Boy and became friends. He was married. (You can see where this is going, can't you?!) Became more than friends. He promised the earth - would leave his wife etc, but it never happened. I was patient for years (2 and a half to be precise) and for all that time his friends and family had no idea who I was. He even moved in for 6 months as he explained to me that he needed to be out of the marital home to start the separation process. Still nothing. He still didn't tell his parents.

Now I feel like a mug and I don't believe what he tells me. He's told me that he has moved back in with his parents but I have to admit that I don't really believe that either. All I have is his word and that has never been very reliable.

Anyway about 3 months ago he started to check up on me - just happen to be running past the pub when I was coming out to see who I was with. If he didn't like who I was with (ie if the group included a man) leave vile messages on my phone telling me what he thought of me in no uncertain terms and then call to apologise the next day.

Standing back and assessing the string of events objectively, I must be a mug to put up with it. But when he's being normal, he's lovely. It's hard to be without him, but it's also hard to be with him.

DAILY SUMMARY

• Pants: 'Flaunt it'
• Weather: Autumnal
• Guineas: Cross because I haven't got them dandelion leaves for ages