Saying Goodbye

Another heart to heart with the boy yesterday. Actually, he spnds most of the time lecturing me on how he would like things to be and how things will change.

Still don't know if I believe him. I really wish I could. I also wish he'd stop dragging up the past, but then he probably wishes that I would do the same.

Amy flies back to Oz tomorrow. The month she's been here has flown by. It feels like she's never left and it's going to be really painful to say goodbye to her. But this time, I'm making a vow not to leave it so long next time.

Bit of a hangover from a Sang Som session at Jude's last night. Good night to catch up with her and Lynne. Possibly had one beer too many though and there was no way I would have been able to make it out for a run this morning. The plan is to swim this evening instead.

In need of an adventure so I'm going to start making plans to cycle to Padstow. This may well be a separate blog altogether !


DAILY SUMMARY

• WEATHER: Overcast
• MOOD: Hungover and irritable
• PANTS: No idea. Put them on in a tired and hungover haze this morning.
• GUNIEA PIGS: Neglected

Moving Gravel is Bad for the Soul (and the back)

I'm not in the best of moods this afternoon. Generally to do with men but also to do with the large pile of gravel that has been delivered this afternoon.
On the man front, my relationship is really getting me down. The main points of the relationship are as follows:
I was friends with a guy at work and the relationship developed but he's married
He was unhappy and we had a good time
He never wanted to brave telling his parents or friends.
I didn't want him to move in all the while I was a secret.
He still lives with his wife - we've been seeing each other for 2 and a half years
We are both in the wrong, but I am starting to feel resentful that he has never sorted himself out.
Even if he promises me that he'll sort himself out I doubt he will.
If he does, then will it continue to be one big lie ?
I finish with him and he comes back and promises me the earth and I let him back in.
Yep that seems to sum it up.
Disaster.
The more I move the gravel, the more I think about it. And the gravelling makes me think about things like ...
Do I wait for him to sort it out?
Will he ever sort it out ?
What if he meets someone else - would he ever be able to tell me ?
Anyway, back to shifting the gravel and that has it's own problems.

DAILY SUMMARY

• WEATHER: Roasting Hot
• MOOD: Bad
• PANTS: Cheeky Monkey
• GUINEA PIGS: Hiding from the sun

Handing in my Notice and Crying

Handed in my notice yesterday. Held it together and all went smoothly until he scribbled D leaves and then I burst into tears.

I'll really miss it there, but then, om the way home today, I was stuck in traffic as the world and his wife made a B-line for the west country reality set in and I was very happy with the decision. Walking to work and back. Absolutely no reason to get stuck in a jam. Only have to slow down to window shop or go to the pub on the way home.

With all this extra time this new job is going to give me, I'm going to do something new. Perhaps an art class or a new sport. I could even get an extra job in the evening to pay of my credit cards. Perhaps that's pushing it.

No work tomorrow. I'm having some quality time with my sister. It's only a week and a half until she goes back. The strangest thing about having her here is that it almost like she has never been away. She pops in for a coffee, dividing her time up between here and mum and dad's slotting in a few other visits wherever possible.

It's when I come to say goodbye to her again. That's when it's going to hit hard. I wonder when I'll see her again? Next year? The year after? I dearly love seeing her but feel a little bit of resentment at having to commit every holiday (and every penny) to going to Australia. I chose to live close to the people I want to see so I can see them. It would be great to set up life somewhere exotic but I suppose different things are important to different people. Committing all my 'spare' income on going to the other side of the world is a hell or a committment. Selfishly, I would like to take holiday somewhere new. A good solution would be a half way holiday. Quality time, not so far on the plane. Thailand maybe ?

Anyway off roller skating along the sea front now.

Daily summary

• WEATHER: Sunshine and fluffy white clouds
• PANTS: red and yellow stripes
• MOOD: Not particularly good but no reason

No Blogs but New Job

So much for writing a daily blog. My sister arrived from Australia and since then I've been sidetracked. But, I have a day off work and Sis and Dad are having some quality time so I get to catch up on a few things - blog included.

I've got a new job. My existing job is a cracker and I couldn't ask for any more from employer or job but there are other fall backs ; the two and a half hour commute for a start(that's round trip not each way) With an 8am clock-in, I need to be up a 5.30 everyday. That's the middle of the night isn't it? The car share cuts down on the fuel costs but I find it difficult to be sociable first thing in the morning. Ontop of all that rising fuel prices and the threat of a pay as you travel road tax are looming and I could find myself in a position where I can't afford to go to work. Oh, and the factory is up for sale.

I was only half looking due to the perfect job situation, but if an reasonable offer came up closer to home then it would be brilliant. A friend mentioned that there may be a job going at her place and to send my CV etc. Duly sent my CV but didn't really think that anything would come of it, even when they asked my to come in for a chat. But, as of last Friday, I've got a new job. Now I have the ominous task of telling my boss.

Ironically, I used to work for the same guy (same company) and handed my notice in to travel the world. He changed jobs and asked if I would like to go back and work with him and of course I did or I wouldn't be handing my notice in - again. Even though I have the day of today, I am thinking about popping up to work and doing the deed.

Anyway, my original plan today was to do some gardening (yawn) but it's just a bit mess of sand and bags of soil at the moment. So far, rain has saved the day and I can't do thing. Might go to the garden centre and have a coffee. Ease myself in gently. Best way with gardening. This particular garden centre is a mecca for old people and I've become quite deft at dodging the coffin dodgers. Mind you, a few years ago, I wouldn't have even entertained visiting a garden centre on my day off.

I s'pose I'd better hop on the shower and make a start on my day.

DAILY SUMMARY

• WEATHER: It's raining, it's pouring
• PANTS: Cheeky monkey at the moment, but just about to get in thr shower so I'll be able to treat myself to some clean ones !